It's been a while since I've posted. Life has taken me on an incredible journey since October. I have started teaching pre-k at a school in Elmhurst *thanks to my dear friend Elisa for hooking me up with the job information* and spent two months working full-time as a teacher AND working at Modell's three-four nights a week. It's safe to say that November was not my friend for weight loss. I became engrossed in what I was doing, getting used to the schedule of working two jobs and being a mom and wife, and stopped doing what I should have been doing. I gained 6 lbs in November.
But here I am, been back on track since the start of the month, and have lost almost 15 lbs in just December. This morning I weighed in at 175.8 lbs. That's a total of 41.2 lbs lost.
This year has been such a hectic rollercoaster for me. So many downfalls and positive points throughout the year. The one thing I am proud to say is that in January, I PROMISED myself that I would lose weight, and today, only a few days away from the new year, I can say that I actually followed through. I am not at the finish line yet, (and to be honest, with the way in which I gain weight so easily, I don't believe I'll ever consider myself across that finish line) so I am committing to losing the remainder of my weight in the first half of 2011.
The doctor I went to said that I should probably stop at 160 lbs. That if I go any lower, that I will look sick. But I will see how I feel at 160 lbs. I truly feel that I can get to 150 lbs. I haven't weighed that since high school, and I know my body has changed, but it's something I feel I can accomplish.
While I'm making resolutions for the year, I am also going to commit to becoming organized. I am a slob. It's horrible. I am committing to be neater, not only for myself, but also for my husband's sake. It drives him crazy that I have little messes all over the house.
With that, I'd like to close by saying thank you to everyone who has been keeping track of what I've been doing this year. I appreciate all the support you have given me and the patience you've had with me as I have gained weight back at times.
So here are the final results for 2010:
Starting weight: 217 lbs. Shirt size: XL Pant size: 20
Final weight for 2010: 175.8 lbs Shirt size: M Pant size: 12
Lost 4" in waist, 4.5" in hips, 2" in thigh
See you in 2011!!! Happy New Year!!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Almost Halfway there!!!
Today's weigh-in results ::: I lost 2.0 lbs! Putting me at 186.2 and surpassing my 30 lbs mark by .8 pounds :) My October goal is 185 lbs... but I have a feeling that I am going to surpass that goal :) Today's weigh-in results mean that I have 41 pounds to lose... in a few more pounds, I'll be halfway to my goal weight. (I'm really going back and forth with my goal weight. Sometimes I think 145 is an unrealistic goal... sometimes I think it's a fine goal. I guess I will have to see as I get closer)
Yesterday afternoon I began the Daniel Fast. The first 24-hours is a liquid fast, and I have really taken to the Naked drinks! They are absolutely delicious!!! I did, however, indulge a bit before the fast began. I treated myself to Burger King. I had a chicken sandwich with bacon and cheese. It came with fries, but I had a hard time eating all of them... I had a large but ate the equivalent of a small (if even that).
Once dinner hits tonight, I will be eating only fruits, veggies, nuts, and beans. And drinking only water and natural fruit juices.
I am super excited to have hit the 30 lb mark. Looking over the last 4 weeks... I have lost 8.4 lbs. That's an average of 2.1 lbs per week. That's incredible!!
I'm not gonna lie. It feels good when I see people I haven't seen in a while and they tell me that I look good. I never fish for compliments, but if they are offered up, it is encouraging. It's also encouraging to hear how I have inspired people to do weight watchers. It is a reminder that I have people watching me (not in a creepy way), and that by letting myself down, I'd be letting others down as well.
Also, at work, I have really enjoyed talking to customers that tell me that they just joined a gym and are doing weight watchers. I am given the opportunity to share my experiences with them, and it always leads to a great conversation. Several women I have spoken with told me that they weren't quite sure about weight watchers, but after hearing my experiences so far, they are really interested in it.
I'm really looking forward to what this week will bring. I am also looking forward to getting to spend some quality time with some of you ladies at my Lia Sophia party :)
See you next week!!! :)
Yesterday afternoon I began the Daniel Fast. The first 24-hours is a liquid fast, and I have really taken to the Naked drinks! They are absolutely delicious!!! I did, however, indulge a bit before the fast began. I treated myself to Burger King. I had a chicken sandwich with bacon and cheese. It came with fries, but I had a hard time eating all of them... I had a large but ate the equivalent of a small (if even that).
Once dinner hits tonight, I will be eating only fruits, veggies, nuts, and beans. And drinking only water and natural fruit juices.
I am super excited to have hit the 30 lb mark. Looking over the last 4 weeks... I have lost 8.4 lbs. That's an average of 2.1 lbs per week. That's incredible!!
I'm not gonna lie. It feels good when I see people I haven't seen in a while and they tell me that I look good. I never fish for compliments, but if they are offered up, it is encouraging. It's also encouraging to hear how I have inspired people to do weight watchers. It is a reminder that I have people watching me (not in a creepy way), and that by letting myself down, I'd be letting others down as well.
Also, at work, I have really enjoyed talking to customers that tell me that they just joined a gym and are doing weight watchers. I am given the opportunity to share my experiences with them, and it always leads to a great conversation. Several women I have spoken with told me that they weren't quite sure about weight watchers, but after hearing my experiences so far, they are really interested in it.
I'm really looking forward to what this week will bring. I am also looking forward to getting to spend some quality time with some of you ladies at my Lia Sophia party :)
See you next week!!! :)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Shopping
Here are the results of my last weigh-in: I went down 1.4 lbs and weighed in at 188.2. Not too bad. I had expected better numbers but my lady-friend came to visit on Monday.
Today I weighed in and I am 187.5 Only HALF a pound away from losing 30 lbs!! And only 2.5 lbs away from my first shopping goal!!
Speaking of shopping... I am really starting to love it. I find that I am much more willing to try on clothes that seem out of my ordinary, and am frequently finding that not only do they fit, but they actually look pretty good. Granted, I'm still shopping at Old Navy and New York and Company, but that is because I'm saving the other stores for my weightloss shopping goals :)
I even bought a dress from NY & Co. Their dresses NEVER look good on me. But this one was perfect! I wore it to church and received a ton of compliments. I've even taken to wearing spandex with a tunic and belt! And again, I got a lot of compiments. It feels amazing!!
I also think to myself, "If I feel this good NOW, and I am only at 188 pounds.. how good will I feel when I am at 160 lbs? Or less!?" It's something I can't wait to find out!!
I also find that I am putting makeup on a lot more. I guess my mentality before was why bother? It's not like it's going to help you out anyway! Now, I feel more confident about wearing makeup..even lipstick (which I swear I never wore before! Not even on my wedding day or prom or anything!).
There are still days when I feel gross and wonder why I ever let myself get to this point, but then I snap out of it and think of all I have accomplished, especially considering what has been unfolding in my life.
Time to wrap it up here! Thanks for reading and for keeping me accountable! I appreciate all of your support <3
Today I weighed in and I am 187.5 Only HALF a pound away from losing 30 lbs!! And only 2.5 lbs away from my first shopping goal!!
Speaking of shopping... I am really starting to love it. I find that I am much more willing to try on clothes that seem out of my ordinary, and am frequently finding that not only do they fit, but they actually look pretty good. Granted, I'm still shopping at Old Navy and New York and Company, but that is because I'm saving the other stores for my weightloss shopping goals :)
I even bought a dress from NY & Co. Their dresses NEVER look good on me. But this one was perfect! I wore it to church and received a ton of compliments. I've even taken to wearing spandex with a tunic and belt! And again, I got a lot of compiments. It feels amazing!!
I also think to myself, "If I feel this good NOW, and I am only at 188 pounds.. how good will I feel when I am at 160 lbs? Or less!?" It's something I can't wait to find out!!
I also find that I am putting makeup on a lot more. I guess my mentality before was why bother? It's not like it's going to help you out anyway! Now, I feel more confident about wearing makeup..even lipstick (which I swear I never wore before! Not even on my wedding day or prom or anything!).
There are still days when I feel gross and wonder why I ever let myself get to this point, but then I snap out of it and think of all I have accomplished, especially considering what has been unfolding in my life.
Time to wrap it up here! Thanks for reading and for keeping me accountable! I appreciate all of your support <3
Sunday, October 10, 2010
A necessary obsession
"Don't weigh yourself every day!" Those are the words of advice that have been given to me over the course of the last 10 months. (Wow! This journey has been ten months already... too bad I have rollercoastered through this rather than sailed through). When I tell people that I weigh myself every morning, I am constantly told that it isn't healthy and that I shouldn't do it. That I should limit myself to stepping on the scale once a week, the same time every week, and in the same circumstances (wearing the same articles of clothing, first thing in the morning, after I use the bathroom).
Despite everyone's advice, I continue to weigh myself each and every morning... sometimes 2-3 times before I will finally eat. "You are CRAZY and OBSESSED!!!" I am SURE this is what you are thinking to yourself as you read (and some of you reread) what I just wrote. 'Tis true! Here is why:
Reflecting on my rollercoaster ride, I have found that on days when I do not weigh myself, I tend to eat more and eat unhealthy. This follows another morning of not weighing myself (due to the immense amount of junk I had the day prior), and the pattern continues. I tell myself, "I'll just have one bad week and that will jumpstart a large weightloss next week!) And more often than not, that "one bad week" flourishes into a month, or even more!
When I weigh myself each morning, it motivates me to keep going. I am reminded daily of the diminishing numbers, and on the occassions that the number increases, I am motivated to see it go down the following day. Even if it is only one tenth of a pound, I feel successful. Weighing myself each and every morning keeps me on track. I eat healthier, I keep track of what I eat, I focus more on physical activity, and I feel better about myself.
But why 2-3 times a morning? Well, let's be adults here. I need to make sure I have rid myself of anything in my body that can alter my weight. You might be surprised to find out that you can lose up to an entire pound just from using the bathroom! *I hope I have not grossed any of you out. If I have, I apologize!* So, yes. 2-3 times a morning because sometimes, I'm just not done (hahahaha) and I may not realize it at the moment of the initial or secondary weigh-in.
One other thing you might be wondering is if I feel the same "reward" when I weigh myself on my official weigh-in day - Mondays. Truth is.. I do! I feel that reward nearly every single day as I see my weight slowly going down. Then, when I go online and track my official weigh-in with Weight Watchers, I see just how many pounds I have lost the entire week, as well as in all. I don't like surprises. I'd rather not wait an entire week to go by before I weigh myself, only to be disappointed. At least I am constantly aware of what is to come. There are no bad surprises. If I have had a rough day, it shows on the scale the next morning. If I've had an exceptional day, I'm rewarded with a few tenths of a pound lighter the following day.
I will end here. This was something that I felt the need to share (especially for those compulsive weigh-in-ers like me!)
I'll see you tomorrow for my weekly weigh-in!
Despite everyone's advice, I continue to weigh myself each and every morning... sometimes 2-3 times before I will finally eat. "You are CRAZY and OBSESSED!!!" I am SURE this is what you are thinking to yourself as you read (and some of you reread) what I just wrote. 'Tis true! Here is why:
Reflecting on my rollercoaster ride, I have found that on days when I do not weigh myself, I tend to eat more and eat unhealthy. This follows another morning of not weighing myself (due to the immense amount of junk I had the day prior), and the pattern continues. I tell myself, "I'll just have one bad week and that will jumpstart a large weightloss next week!) And more often than not, that "one bad week" flourishes into a month, or even more!
When I weigh myself each morning, it motivates me to keep going. I am reminded daily of the diminishing numbers, and on the occassions that the number increases, I am motivated to see it go down the following day. Even if it is only one tenth of a pound, I feel successful. Weighing myself each and every morning keeps me on track. I eat healthier, I keep track of what I eat, I focus more on physical activity, and I feel better about myself.
But why 2-3 times a morning? Well, let's be adults here. I need to make sure I have rid myself of anything in my body that can alter my weight. You might be surprised to find out that you can lose up to an entire pound just from using the bathroom! *I hope I have not grossed any of you out. If I have, I apologize!* So, yes. 2-3 times a morning because sometimes, I'm just not done (hahahaha) and I may not realize it at the moment of the initial or secondary weigh-in.
One other thing you might be wondering is if I feel the same "reward" when I weigh myself on my official weigh-in day - Mondays. Truth is.. I do! I feel that reward nearly every single day as I see my weight slowly going down. Then, when I go online and track my official weigh-in with Weight Watchers, I see just how many pounds I have lost the entire week, as well as in all. I don't like surprises. I'd rather not wait an entire week to go by before I weigh myself, only to be disappointed. At least I am constantly aware of what is to come. There are no bad surprises. If I have had a rough day, it shows on the scale the next morning. If I've had an exceptional day, I'm rewarded with a few tenths of a pound lighter the following day.
I will end here. This was something that I felt the need to share (especially for those compulsive weigh-in-ers like me!)
I'll see you tomorrow for my weekly weigh-in!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Today's weigh-in
Good morning everyone!!
Today I weighed myself and almost threw up. At first, I thought the number I saw was extremely high (considering the weight that I had lost). I saw 199.6 and lost my breath. I rubbed my eyes *literally* and took a second look. 189.6!! WHOO HOO!! That means I am down 27.4 lbs in all. AND that means I'm only 4.5 lbs away from my first shopping goal :)
I am feeling very motivated. It helps that I went to a wedding on Friday w/ Adam and felt disgustingly huge compared to most of the women there. But, it did help me to come up with another item for my "List" of things I'd like accomplish as I lose my weight... and that would be: Wear a BOLD dress! I'm so tired of buying the same style or color dress. I want something that is going to stand out (in a good way).
I did not let all the fit ladies that I saw at the wedding ruin my motivation or depress me. Instead I let them be a reminder of the goal that I would like to reach. I thought about how they probably felt in their beautiful dresses and the level of confidence they felt. Then I thought about how I would like that.
I am going to commit to eat fruit and veggies EVERY day this week. I have not been doing well with that. It is definitely my greatest downfall.
My church is participating in a 21-day "fast" in a few weeks. It's called a "Daniel Fast". The fast doesn't exclude all foods, but rather foods that are unhealthy. So for 20 days (the first day being a fast allowing only liquids), we are supposed to eat fruits, veggies, nuts, oats, brown rice, and beans (amongst a few other things I can't recall off the top of my head). I think this would be a perfect opportunity to cleanse my body and my mind and reconnect with my spirtuality. In the place I am in life right now, God is what I need the most. And I truthfully believe that my life cannot get on the right path completely (health, family, and financial issues) until I place it ALL in His hands. We aren't obligated to participate, but I got very excited when I saw this.
Well, the baby is up. Time to go feed him!! I appreciate you all reading this. You encourage me each and every day. I am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.
Today I weighed myself and almost threw up. At first, I thought the number I saw was extremely high (considering the weight that I had lost). I saw 199.6 and lost my breath. I rubbed my eyes *literally* and took a second look. 189.6!! WHOO HOO!! That means I am down 27.4 lbs in all. AND that means I'm only 4.5 lbs away from my first shopping goal :)
I am feeling very motivated. It helps that I went to a wedding on Friday w/ Adam and felt disgustingly huge compared to most of the women there. But, it did help me to come up with another item for my "List" of things I'd like accomplish as I lose my weight... and that would be: Wear a BOLD dress! I'm so tired of buying the same style or color dress. I want something that is going to stand out (in a good way).
I did not let all the fit ladies that I saw at the wedding ruin my motivation or depress me. Instead I let them be a reminder of the goal that I would like to reach. I thought about how they probably felt in their beautiful dresses and the level of confidence they felt. Then I thought about how I would like that.
I am going to commit to eat fruit and veggies EVERY day this week. I have not been doing well with that. It is definitely my greatest downfall.
My church is participating in a 21-day "fast" in a few weeks. It's called a "Daniel Fast". The fast doesn't exclude all foods, but rather foods that are unhealthy. So for 20 days (the first day being a fast allowing only liquids), we are supposed to eat fruits, veggies, nuts, oats, brown rice, and beans (amongst a few other things I can't recall off the top of my head). I think this would be a perfect opportunity to cleanse my body and my mind and reconnect with my spirtuality. In the place I am in life right now, God is what I need the most. And I truthfully believe that my life cannot get on the right path completely (health, family, and financial issues) until I place it ALL in His hands. We aren't obligated to participate, but I got very excited when I saw this.
Well, the baby is up. Time to go feed him!! I appreciate you all reading this. You encourage me each and every day. I am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Hello Again!
It has been too long. And unfortunately, not much progress has been made.
Things have been so difficult. With not having a job and trying to focus on finding one. And then working at Modell's part time (which is almost like full time because I work nearly every day, and always at night), I haven't exactly been focusing on ME.
I lose focus too easily and it is such a bad thing. This is something I want so bad, but based upon my actions, you would never be able to tell that I want it that badly.
So here's the skinny (or the fat in this case): I am at 191.0 lbs, and have changed my long-term goal. Initially, my goal was 165 lbs. I decided that I probably won' t be happy at that, and that I could do much better. So now I am aiming for 145 lbs.
In order to motivate myself, I am making mini shopping goals. When I reach 185 lbs, I will purchase something nice at the Gap. At 175 lbs, I will purchase something nice at Express. At 165 lbs - Abercrombie and Fitch (or American Eagle), at 155 lbs - Guess and at 145 - Hollister. For Hollister, it can even be a t-shirt! I don't care! I just know that when I walk into Hollister right now, I feel disgusting. I pout and I keep my head down and try to avoid eye contact with anyone in there. Unfortunately, Adam liked that store, so I was in there every time we went to the mall.
I also am making monthly goals for myself - I want to work on getting to certain numbers each month. Last week, I decided to make my "September goal" 189 lbs. I am two pounds away. That is okay though!! I won't let that discourage me.
Tomorrow begins October and I have to start it off with a wedding. I am going to drink a LOT of water in order to fill myself up beforehand. Weddings ALWAYS get me!!!
My mini-goal for October is 185 lbs. If I can make that mini-goal, I will get my Gap purchase :) Scheduling workouts have been difficult because of work. I need to just suck it up and go though. I often make excuses and it's not fair to myself. I keep telling myself, "Cindy.. you would have already been at or close to your goal weight had you stuck with this the whole way through since January!"
I also made a list of little things I would like to accomplish once I reach (or as I approach) my goal weight. One of the items on that list: wear a single-digit size jean. Here is the honest truth: I went from a size 20 (in January) to a size 14 (now). It's hard to believe I was a 20 and that at one point in time, not that long ago, I couldn't even pull a size 14 past the middle of my thighs, but that's how it was. I'm even excited to get down to a 10! I don't remember that last time I wore a size 10!!
Well, that's basically my update for now. I need reminders to write on the blog. I am extremely forgetful (and lazy).
- Cindy
Things have been so difficult. With not having a job and trying to focus on finding one. And then working at Modell's part time (which is almost like full time because I work nearly every day, and always at night), I haven't exactly been focusing on ME.
I lose focus too easily and it is such a bad thing. This is something I want so bad, but based upon my actions, you would never be able to tell that I want it that badly.
So here's the skinny (or the fat in this case): I am at 191.0 lbs, and have changed my long-term goal. Initially, my goal was 165 lbs. I decided that I probably won' t be happy at that, and that I could do much better. So now I am aiming for 145 lbs.
In order to motivate myself, I am making mini shopping goals. When I reach 185 lbs, I will purchase something nice at the Gap. At 175 lbs, I will purchase something nice at Express. At 165 lbs - Abercrombie and Fitch (or American Eagle), at 155 lbs - Guess and at 145 - Hollister. For Hollister, it can even be a t-shirt! I don't care! I just know that when I walk into Hollister right now, I feel disgusting. I pout and I keep my head down and try to avoid eye contact with anyone in there. Unfortunately, Adam liked that store, so I was in there every time we went to the mall.
I also am making monthly goals for myself - I want to work on getting to certain numbers each month. Last week, I decided to make my "September goal" 189 lbs. I am two pounds away. That is okay though!! I won't let that discourage me.
Tomorrow begins October and I have to start it off with a wedding. I am going to drink a LOT of water in order to fill myself up beforehand. Weddings ALWAYS get me!!!
My mini-goal for October is 185 lbs. If I can make that mini-goal, I will get my Gap purchase :) Scheduling workouts have been difficult because of work. I need to just suck it up and go though. I often make excuses and it's not fair to myself. I keep telling myself, "Cindy.. you would have already been at or close to your goal weight had you stuck with this the whole way through since January!"
I also made a list of little things I would like to accomplish once I reach (or as I approach) my goal weight. One of the items on that list: wear a single-digit size jean. Here is the honest truth: I went from a size 20 (in January) to a size 14 (now). It's hard to believe I was a 20 and that at one point in time, not that long ago, I couldn't even pull a size 14 past the middle of my thighs, but that's how it was. I'm even excited to get down to a 10! I don't remember that last time I wore a size 10!!
Well, that's basically my update for now. I need reminders to write on the blog. I am extremely forgetful (and lazy).
- Cindy
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Already there!!
Whoop whoop!!
Yesterday I went shopping with Adam. Poor little Joshua... every time he fell asleep in the car, we had to take him out. Our last stop: Old Navy. We get out of the car and put him in the stroller and BAM, he passes out. I feel so horrible about constantly waking him up. Once we are done shopping, I tell Adam to drive home and I'll walk home with Joshua so that he can sleep more. Worked out great. Took exactly 20 minutes to walk home. Not bad! Then we walked for a little while longer (including a lunch stop where I got a delicious grilled chicken sandwich with Lettuce, tomato, and mayo.. and only ate half).
We came home, fed and changed Joshua, and then headed to Alley Pond Park where we walked for nearly an hour, and not just a regular walk, there were some good steep hills there.
All that walking made me feel great. Especially since I got to be outside and enjoy the beautiful weather.
We went out to Friendly's with Adam's parents. I planned my meal out way in advance. I knew the points of everything I was going to order, and all the substitutions that I was going to make. I had a lot of points left because I hadn't snacked all day.
This morning I weighed myself... 193.2!!! Since YESTERDAY I have lost 1.6 pounds! Insane, insane!!!
I figured with only .2 pounds to go to reach my mini-goal for the week, I should change my mini-goal. My goal is now 191 pounds by next Saturday. Omg... what's that smell? What? That's right? Success! I am ALMOST out of the 190's!!!! I haven't been out of the 190's in YEARS!!!!!!!!!!! I honestly don't even remember how long it has been.
In two weeks I can see myself being OUT of the 190's. In a few weeks... I can be at a total of 30 lbs!! INSANE!!!!!
Alright. I'm excited! BUT I need to get going. Gotta feed the baby and get ready for church.
:)
Yesterday I went shopping with Adam. Poor little Joshua... every time he fell asleep in the car, we had to take him out. Our last stop: Old Navy. We get out of the car and put him in the stroller and BAM, he passes out. I feel so horrible about constantly waking him up. Once we are done shopping, I tell Adam to drive home and I'll walk home with Joshua so that he can sleep more. Worked out great. Took exactly 20 minutes to walk home. Not bad! Then we walked for a little while longer (including a lunch stop where I got a delicious grilled chicken sandwich with Lettuce, tomato, and mayo.. and only ate half).
We came home, fed and changed Joshua, and then headed to Alley Pond Park where we walked for nearly an hour, and not just a regular walk, there were some good steep hills there.
All that walking made me feel great. Especially since I got to be outside and enjoy the beautiful weather.
We went out to Friendly's with Adam's parents. I planned my meal out way in advance. I knew the points of everything I was going to order, and all the substitutions that I was going to make. I had a lot of points left because I hadn't snacked all day.
This morning I weighed myself... 193.2!!! Since YESTERDAY I have lost 1.6 pounds! Insane, insane!!!
I figured with only .2 pounds to go to reach my mini-goal for the week, I should change my mini-goal. My goal is now 191 pounds by next Saturday. Omg... what's that smell? What? That's right? Success! I am ALMOST out of the 190's!!!! I haven't been out of the 190's in YEARS!!!!!!!!!!! I honestly don't even remember how long it has been.
In two weeks I can see myself being OUT of the 190's. In a few weeks... I can be at a total of 30 lbs!! INSANE!!!!!
Alright. I'm excited! BUT I need to get going. Gotta feed the baby and get ready for church.
:)
Saturday, May 1, 2010
I can't seem to rotate the image so rotate your head LOL This is me as of April 2nd :) (with my good friend Christina)I'm back!
It's been too long.
Here is the deal: I haven't been doing too well. Adam lost his job April 1st (something we saw coming for a while) and I have been having a hard time at work myself. I was denied tenure (given an extension, actually), which means that if I don't get tenure by next year, I can no longer teach in NY state.. or possibly anywhere because why would anyone want to hire a teacher that has been fired?
So, basically this put me into a bit of depression: going to bed at 8-9 pm, a lot of crying, With so much to focus on: work, looking for a new school, college courses, adam's lack of employment, my career being ruined, the baby... dieting felt like just one more thing to focus on that I just couldn't do. Instead of no longer stressing work, I no longer stressed my health. Good job, Cindy! In the last two months (roughly) I have gone back and forth between 196 and 199 pounds. When I stopped dieting and working out I had been down 23 lbs. I gained 5 lbs back within two weeks and have been fluctuating between those weights.
I realized that I wasn't making myself any happier or bettering my situation by giving up. I had been doing SO well, and I just gave up. It felt like one more thing to focus, and I didn't have the energy.
Anyway, I'm back :) I started up again on Tuesday. I started Tuesday at 198.8 and have lost 4 pounds since then. I'm down to 194.8
Mini goal: By next Saturday, I would like to be 193 lbs.
I will have to keep up with everything I was doing before: the blogging, the logging of my daily weight, journaling all my food intake, working out 5 times a week... whatever I need to do. I'd LOVE to lose another 20 lbs by the end of the school year.
Well, with that it's time to go.
Here is the deal: I haven't been doing too well. Adam lost his job April 1st (something we saw coming for a while) and I have been having a hard time at work myself. I was denied tenure (given an extension, actually), which means that if I don't get tenure by next year, I can no longer teach in NY state.. or possibly anywhere because why would anyone want to hire a teacher that has been fired?
So, basically this put me into a bit of depression: going to bed at 8-9 pm, a lot of crying, With so much to focus on: work, looking for a new school, college courses, adam's lack of employment, my career being ruined, the baby... dieting felt like just one more thing to focus on that I just couldn't do. Instead of no longer stressing work, I no longer stressed my health. Good job, Cindy! In the last two months (roughly) I have gone back and forth between 196 and 199 pounds. When I stopped dieting and working out I had been down 23 lbs. I gained 5 lbs back within two weeks and have been fluctuating between those weights.
I realized that I wasn't making myself any happier or bettering my situation by giving up. I had been doing SO well, and I just gave up. It felt like one more thing to focus, and I didn't have the energy.
Anyway, I'm back :) I started up again on Tuesday. I started Tuesday at 198.8 and have lost 4 pounds since then. I'm down to 194.8
Mini goal: By next Saturday, I would like to be 193 lbs.
I will have to keep up with everything I was doing before: the blogging, the logging of my daily weight, journaling all my food intake, working out 5 times a week... whatever I need to do. I'd LOVE to lose another 20 lbs by the end of the school year.
Well, with that it's time to go.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I DID IT!!!
I am OUT of the 200s ladies!! As of my weigh-in today I am 198.4!!!
I had an off week last week... didn't really lose anything.. got my "friend" after over 40 days. Even with working out and eating right, my period prevented me from having any change in my weight. One day I would gain weight, the next I'd lose, the next I'd gain. A very ugly cycle. I did not let it ruin all the work I've done though. I've come very far and a few bad weigh-ins aren't going to discourage me.
In the upcoming weeks, Adam and I are going to convert the attic to a mini-gym. Today I am hoping to get an elliptical (YAY!) and eventually put a TV up there and a DVD player... put my Wii up there, and other workout equipment I have collected over the years (mat, weights, medicine ball, resistance bands). I also want to invest in a stability ball.
Here is my new goal: by March 13th I would like to be at 194 lbs. It's a small goal, but again, my weight loss has slowed down a lot. 4.4 lbs in 2 weeks seems like a pretty decent goal. As always, if I hit the goal before then, I will let you all know!
Hope you all keep following!
I had an off week last week... didn't really lose anything.. got my "friend" after over 40 days. Even with working out and eating right, my period prevented me from having any change in my weight. One day I would gain weight, the next I'd lose, the next I'd gain. A very ugly cycle. I did not let it ruin all the work I've done though. I've come very far and a few bad weigh-ins aren't going to discourage me.
In the upcoming weeks, Adam and I are going to convert the attic to a mini-gym. Today I am hoping to get an elliptical (YAY!) and eventually put a TV up there and a DVD player... put my Wii up there, and other workout equipment I have collected over the years (mat, weights, medicine ball, resistance bands). I also want to invest in a stability ball.
Here is my new goal: by March 13th I would like to be at 194 lbs. It's a small goal, but again, my weight loss has slowed down a lot. 4.4 lbs in 2 weeks seems like a pretty decent goal. As always, if I hit the goal before then, I will let you all know!
Hope you all keep following!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Day 31
I have been at this for an entire month and have done a great job not breaking away from it. I have had treats here and there, but have always managed to stay within the points/calories that I'm allowed.
It's February 13th, and if memory serves me correctly, my weigh-in today should be around 204 if I reached my goal. I did weigh myself this morning and.... 203.6! I'm down 13.4 lbs!!
I had a bit of a rough week this week. Superbowl Sunday I weighed in at 204.6... the next morning, 206.8! I was a little discouraged and the numbers haunted me for days. But I never strayed from my focus. I don't quite know how I got those extra 2.2 lbs on overnight - perhaps all of the salt in the food I had (which, surprisingly, I stayed within my allotted points). It took a few days just to lose those 2.2 lbs. From Tuesday to Thursday I had no change at all. It was only yesterday (Friday) that when I stepped on the scale in the morning, I had finally gone down to 204.4.
The Wii Biggest Loser workout is really exhausting but SOOOOO much fun. I love that it really makes me build up a sweat in a short period of time.
Today I'll be heading to NYSC w/ Adam to get an intense (hopefully) workout.
I hope people are actually reading this! If not, I'm just talking to myself :(
Enjoy the weekend everyone (or no one if no one reads this lol)
Oh - before I go, I need to set up a new goal. By March 1st, I would like to be 199 lbs... I'd LOVE to break out of the 200s!!!! Only 4.6 lbs away! Kind of a big goal, but I'm off all week and should be able to increase my workout time and intensity every day.
I'll keep you posted as always!
It's February 13th, and if memory serves me correctly, my weigh-in today should be around 204 if I reached my goal. I did weigh myself this morning and.... 203.6! I'm down 13.4 lbs!!
I had a bit of a rough week this week. Superbowl Sunday I weighed in at 204.6... the next morning, 206.8! I was a little discouraged and the numbers haunted me for days. But I never strayed from my focus. I don't quite know how I got those extra 2.2 lbs on overnight - perhaps all of the salt in the food I had (which, surprisingly, I stayed within my allotted points). It took a few days just to lose those 2.2 lbs. From Tuesday to Thursday I had no change at all. It was only yesterday (Friday) that when I stepped on the scale in the morning, I had finally gone down to 204.4.
The Wii Biggest Loser workout is really exhausting but SOOOOO much fun. I love that it really makes me build up a sweat in a short period of time.
Today I'll be heading to NYSC w/ Adam to get an intense (hopefully) workout.
I hope people are actually reading this! If not, I'm just talking to myself :(
Enjoy the weekend everyone (or no one if no one reads this lol)
Oh - before I go, I need to set up a new goal. By March 1st, I would like to be 199 lbs... I'd LOVE to break out of the 200s!!!! Only 4.6 lbs away! Kind of a big goal, but I'm off all week and should be able to increase my workout time and intensity every day.
I'll keep you posted as always!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Whoohooo!!
Yesterday marked three weeks that I have started eating healthy and exercising. It's going so well! I haven't felt much temptation to stray. I haven't given in to fast food, tacos, or over eating. This is the longest that I've stayed with something like this!
I weighed myself this morning, as I do every morning, and I have been consistantly losing weight every day. I'm down 12 pounds as of today. I am currently 205 lbs. One pound away from my short-term goal of 204 lbs. Once I reach that I will set a new goal. I'm on my way out of the 200's!!
Yesterday, after my morning weigh-in, I decided to try on a pair of jeans that I have not fit in in a few months. I couldn't believe it when they were able to zip up! And I wore them all day without my stomach hurting or burning! HAHA what an accomplishment!!
I'm going to spend this weekend looking for healthy, new recipes. I can't wait.
With that, I'm gonna go catch up on my DVR'd shows!
See you soon! Thinner and trimmer!
I weighed myself this morning, as I do every morning, and I have been consistantly losing weight every day. I'm down 12 pounds as of today. I am currently 205 lbs. One pound away from my short-term goal of 204 lbs. Once I reach that I will set a new goal. I'm on my way out of the 200's!!
Yesterday, after my morning weigh-in, I decided to try on a pair of jeans that I have not fit in in a few months. I couldn't believe it when they were able to zip up! And I wore them all day without my stomach hurting or burning! HAHA what an accomplishment!!
I'm going to spend this weekend looking for healthy, new recipes. I can't wait.
With that, I'm gonna go catch up on my DVR'd shows!
See you soon! Thinner and trimmer!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Going strong!
It's been so hard to get on here and write as much as I would like to. This week was especially hard because work was insanely stressful due something called the Quality Review. Even with all the stress piled on my shoulders, I was still able to lose 1.4 pounds, bringing me down to 209.6 and losing a total of 7.4 pounds.
I decided after that weigh-in that I really wanted to buy a scale of my own. I love getting weighed in every week at work, but I won't lie, I was completely disappointed when I saw that the number hadn't changed much.
Friday I went out and bought the same scale that I get weighed on at work. I immediately weighed myself to see if the numbers were relatively the same from the day before (obviously taking into consideration that I was wearing a different outfit and it was also at night rather than in the morning). I was pleased to see that the numbers matched nicely.
Now each morning, prior to eating anything or doing any physical activity, I weigh myself. This way, I'm getting a more accurate reading and can keep track of my daily progress.
I am pleased to say that as of this morning, I have lost a total of 8.8 pounds :) Not too shabby for 2 weeks 2 days! I'm currently 208.2 lbs. I'm 1.2 pounds away from my February 1st goal... I won't be losing that by tomorrow morning HAHA. It's not February 1st, but I'm going to make a new goal based on today's reading:
By February 13th, my goal is weigh 204 lbs. I'm making my goals smaller because I won't be losing big numbers like I did my first week. But again, if I reach that goal prior to February 13th, I will make a new goal. I cannot wait to get out of the 200s! It's going to feel SO good!
So, I purchased The Biggest Loser game for Wii and I must say - I LOVE IT! I get a schedule of workouts, I keep track of additional activity that I do, participate in challenges, weekly weigh-ins, track my daily calories...
I'm also obsessed with WW cookbooks! I am going out today to buy a few more. I'm living off of weight watchers recipes.
Well, time to get myself ready for the gym!!
See you later, followers!
I decided after that weigh-in that I really wanted to buy a scale of my own. I love getting weighed in every week at work, but I won't lie, I was completely disappointed when I saw that the number hadn't changed much.
Friday I went out and bought the same scale that I get weighed on at work. I immediately weighed myself to see if the numbers were relatively the same from the day before (obviously taking into consideration that I was wearing a different outfit and it was also at night rather than in the morning). I was pleased to see that the numbers matched nicely.
Now each morning, prior to eating anything or doing any physical activity, I weigh myself. This way, I'm getting a more accurate reading and can keep track of my daily progress.
I am pleased to say that as of this morning, I have lost a total of 8.8 pounds :) Not too shabby for 2 weeks 2 days! I'm currently 208.2 lbs. I'm 1.2 pounds away from my February 1st goal... I won't be losing that by tomorrow morning HAHA. It's not February 1st, but I'm going to make a new goal based on today's reading:
By February 13th, my goal is weigh 204 lbs. I'm making my goals smaller because I won't be losing big numbers like I did my first week. But again, if I reach that goal prior to February 13th, I will make a new goal. I cannot wait to get out of the 200s! It's going to feel SO good!
So, I purchased The Biggest Loser game for Wii and I must say - I LOVE IT! I get a schedule of workouts, I keep track of additional activity that I do, participate in challenges, weekly weigh-ins, track my daily calories...
I'm also obsessed with WW cookbooks! I am going out today to buy a few more. I'm living off of weight watchers recipes.
Well, time to get myself ready for the gym!!
See you later, followers!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Been busy!
It's been a few days since I last wrote. Between work, errands, cooking, cleaning, etc. I have had no time to write.
On Thursday I joined Weight Watchers at my school. It's $10 to join and there are no actual "meetings" like WW, but I get weighed in every Thursday, along with other teachers that joined, and if I gain any weight, I have to pay $3.00 a pound! So, if there was a chance I could slip before, it's gone now! I literally cannot afford to gain weight!
At my first weigh-in, I weighed 211 pounds. I lost 6 pounds the first week. What's great now is that I will have a weigh-in at the same time every week on the same scale every week. This should help my weigh-ins be consistent.
What's even better is that because of what I'm doing, several people have told me that I have inspired them to start losing weight. I definitely cannot fail or else I will be letting those people down. Worst of all - I'd let myself down.
I didn't get to work out on Wednesday or Thursday... but I did work out Monday which made up for Thursday. I went to the gym yesterday and it felt INCREDIBLE! I only did 1 hr of cardio due to time constraints, but I worked hard! I'll be heading back at some point today, and definitely going back tomorrow! *Mental note: need to charge my ipod*
I know the second week is going to be a hard week. With 6 pounds gone... I know I won't see high numbers like that again. I have to remember that slower is better. I have 61 more pounds I want to lose... I anticipate it is going to take me almost a year to reach that goal. I just have to keep reminding myself: Do NOT give up.
I hope people still read this LOL . Feel free to leave comments! I like hearing what you have to say, or questions you have, or just hearing whatever you have to say! :)
I'll write soon! :)
On Thursday I joined Weight Watchers at my school. It's $10 to join and there are no actual "meetings" like WW, but I get weighed in every Thursday, along with other teachers that joined, and if I gain any weight, I have to pay $3.00 a pound! So, if there was a chance I could slip before, it's gone now! I literally cannot afford to gain weight!
At my first weigh-in, I weighed 211 pounds. I lost 6 pounds the first week. What's great now is that I will have a weigh-in at the same time every week on the same scale every week. This should help my weigh-ins be consistent.
What's even better is that because of what I'm doing, several people have told me that I have inspired them to start losing weight. I definitely cannot fail or else I will be letting those people down. Worst of all - I'd let myself down.
I didn't get to work out on Wednesday or Thursday... but I did work out Monday which made up for Thursday. I went to the gym yesterday and it felt INCREDIBLE! I only did 1 hr of cardio due to time constraints, but I worked hard! I'll be heading back at some point today, and definitely going back tomorrow! *Mental note: need to charge my ipod*
I know the second week is going to be a hard week. With 6 pounds gone... I know I won't see high numbers like that again. I have to remember that slower is better. I have 61 more pounds I want to lose... I anticipate it is going to take me almost a year to reach that goal. I just have to keep reminding myself: Do NOT give up.
I hope people still read this LOL . Feel free to leave comments! I like hearing what you have to say, or questions you have, or just hearing whatever you have to say! :)
I'll write soon! :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Weighed in!
The Wii is off by a few pounds (unfortunately), but I have lost 5 pounds since Wednesday. Not bad! So I'm down to 212...
New goal!
By February 1st I would like to weigh in at 207... another 5 pounds.
I will try to weigh in (somewhere - since oddly enough my gym doesn't have a scale) sometime next week to see what I'm at. If I hit 207 prior to February 1st, I will set a new goal :)
Well, I don't have much time to write b/c it's late and I have to go to work tomorrow...
So quickly: I worked out today at NYSC while Adam watched Joshua. I did 45 minutes of cardio and 20 of weights... I burned over 500 calories doing cardio and was sweating pretty nicely! Tomorrow I will hit the gym after work for an hour of cardio and no weight lifting. I'll resume weights on Thursday (give my muscles a bit of a rest).
Well then! Until tomorrow!!
New goal!
By February 1st I would like to weigh in at 207... another 5 pounds.
I will try to weigh in (somewhere - since oddly enough my gym doesn't have a scale) sometime next week to see what I'm at. If I hit 207 prior to February 1st, I will set a new goal :)
Well, I don't have much time to write b/c it's late and I have to go to work tomorrow...
So quickly: I worked out today at NYSC while Adam watched Joshua. I did 45 minutes of cardio and 20 of weights... I burned over 500 calories doing cardio and was sweating pretty nicely! Tomorrow I will hit the gym after work for an hour of cardio and no weight lifting. I'll resume weights on Thursday (give my muscles a bit of a rest).
Well then! Until tomorrow!!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A great two days
I have to say - I feel good! I know it's only the third day, but it's amazing what eating right and working out can do in such a short time!
Yesterday went a little different than I had expected - turned out my good friend from Maryland came to visit, so I spent some time with her instead of working out. I went food shopping for a ton of yummy, healthy food: peaches, bananas, apples, low-fat yogurt, sliced almonds, strawberries, veggies, chicken... gooooood stuff!
I made up for missing my workout yesterday. Today I went hard on the elliptical for 30 minutes and then immediately went to the treadmill for an additional 30 minutes, burning a total of 500 calories. I then worked out with weights for another 30 minutes. Tonight I did some Wii Fit Plus for 30 minutes. All that plus cooking breakfast, dinner, and making fruit and yogurt parfaits (soooo good) - I was very active today.
The Wii told me that I weigh 208 lbs - but I don't think that it is accurate. I weighed myself Wednesday around the same time and weighed in at 217.... I highly doubt I lost 9 pounds since Wednesday. Tomorrow I am going to NYSC to work out (Adam's location). I'll weigh myself there (oddly enough Planet Fitness doesn't have any scales!!) and let you all know. To be honest, I don't think that I lost any weight. At least not yet.
Not gonna lie - as good as I feel...I'm tired lol.
I want to thank you ladies for following me and offering up your support. If I had to do this alone, I probably wouldn't do it. Just knowing you are reading this is truly you keeping me accountable. That's exactly what I need.
With that - I need to shower and rest for the night!
Keep ya posted!
Yesterday went a little different than I had expected - turned out my good friend from Maryland came to visit, so I spent some time with her instead of working out. I went food shopping for a ton of yummy, healthy food: peaches, bananas, apples, low-fat yogurt, sliced almonds, strawberries, veggies, chicken... gooooood stuff!
I made up for missing my workout yesterday. Today I went hard on the elliptical for 30 minutes and then immediately went to the treadmill for an additional 30 minutes, burning a total of 500 calories. I then worked out with weights for another 30 minutes. Tonight I did some Wii Fit Plus for 30 minutes. All that plus cooking breakfast, dinner, and making fruit and yogurt parfaits (soooo good) - I was very active today.
The Wii told me that I weigh 208 lbs - but I don't think that it is accurate. I weighed myself Wednesday around the same time and weighed in at 217.... I highly doubt I lost 9 pounds since Wednesday. Tomorrow I am going to NYSC to work out (Adam's location). I'll weigh myself there (oddly enough Planet Fitness doesn't have any scales!!) and let you all know. To be honest, I don't think that I lost any weight. At least not yet.
Not gonna lie - as good as I feel...I'm tired lol.
I want to thank you ladies for following me and offering up your support. If I had to do this alone, I probably wouldn't do it. Just knowing you are reading this is truly you keeping me accountable. That's exactly what I need.
With that - I need to shower and rest for the night!
Keep ya posted!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Day 1
The first day went well. Fiber one bar for breakfast, 3 oz of chicken and a cup and a half of green beans, plus a low fat yogurt for lunch, a fiber one bar after school (since my lunch is more like a breakfast) and grilled chicken salad for dinner... plus 72 oz of water.
Knowing I had to go out last night, and having spent all day at work and away from my son, I didn't work out for as long as I would have liked to. I was on the elliptical for 20 minutes and the treadmill for 20.
My plan for today is to go to the gym as soon as Adam gets home from work - do at least 45 minutes of cardio and 30 of weight lifting.
Ironically, yesterday I got something in the mail from this baby thing that has cards with advice for new moms... the first card I looked at said, "Make time for yourself.. go to the gym..." I thought that was pretty on target for me to read at that moment because it was a reminder that I needed to do just that... the hard part is sticking to it.
Anywho - I started today off right. I had a cup of Special K for breakfast with 3/4 cup of 1% milk. I need to remember that it feels good to eat right and work out... so much better than being lazy and feeling gross from food.
Well, gotta start my day!!
Knowing I had to go out last night, and having spent all day at work and away from my son, I didn't work out for as long as I would have liked to. I was on the elliptical for 20 minutes and the treadmill for 20.
My plan for today is to go to the gym as soon as Adam gets home from work - do at least 45 minutes of cardio and 30 of weight lifting.
Ironically, yesterday I got something in the mail from this baby thing that has cards with advice for new moms... the first card I looked at said, "Make time for yourself.. go to the gym..." I thought that was pretty on target for me to read at that moment because it was a reminder that I needed to do just that... the hard part is sticking to it.
Anywho - I started today off right. I had a cup of Special K for breakfast with 3/4 cup of 1% milk. I need to remember that it feels good to eat right and work out... so much better than being lazy and feeling gross from food.
Well, gotta start my day!!
Friday, January 15, 2010
The big day!
Okay folks! Here I go!!
I went to LA Fitness on Wednesday, decided to weigh myself. Honestly, I expected it to be MUCH worse than it actually is. Now the number I present to you might sound unbelieveably obese (and I'm definitely not too far from that category), but my body doesn't have the potential to be any lower than 145 lbs...
My current weight is....
Drumroll please!
217 lbs.
I anticipated much worse - like 230 lbs, at least. The last time I got weighed was two months ago (mid- November) when I went to the ob/gyn. She weighed me in at exactly the same thing. So the fact that I haven't gained any weight in 2 months is good! But now it's time to see a smaller number.
I joined Planet Fitness last night and will start going this afternoon as soon as I get home from work. My plan is to go to the gym Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Yes...five days a week. Not to weight lift each time, but definitely to do some cardio. If I find this is too much< I will probably cut out Saturdays. But, we shall see!!
Here is my short-term goal:
I went to LA Fitness on Wednesday, decided to weigh myself. Honestly, I expected it to be MUCH worse than it actually is. Now the number I present to you might sound unbelieveably obese (and I'm definitely not too far from that category), but my body doesn't have the potential to be any lower than 145 lbs...
My current weight is....
Drumroll please!
217 lbs.
I anticipated much worse - like 230 lbs, at least. The last time I got weighed was two months ago (mid- November) when I went to the ob/gyn. She weighed me in at exactly the same thing. So the fact that I haven't gained any weight in 2 months is good! But now it's time to see a smaller number.
I joined Planet Fitness last night and will start going this afternoon as soon as I get home from work. My plan is to go to the gym Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Yes...five days a week. Not to weight lift each time, but definitely to do some cardio. If I find this is too much< I will probably cut out Saturdays. But, we shall see!!
Here is my short-term goal:
By February 1st, I would like to lose 7 lbs. It seems pretty doable!
As for my long-term goal, I will not post a date on that.. I have to see how the short-term goals go...
...I would like to ultimately lose 57 lbs, bringing me down to 160 lbs. From there... I will aim for an additional 17 lbs (depending on what the outcome is at 160 lbs)
I have to leave for work in 3 minutes!!!
Okay so for breakfast I have a small orange juice, yogurt and a fiber one bar (one of which I'll probably end up having with my lunch or after lunch before the gym), and for lunch I have a 3 oz piece of chicken and a cup and a half of green beans. Plus I have a 72 oz bottle of water with me.
HERE I GO!!!!!!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
The reasons
Besides the obvious - I need to lose weight and I want to feel good about myself - I have compiled a list of the reasons I need to lose weight (and stick to this):
- I feel uncomfortable in all the clothes I wear - no exceptions
- I am tired of hiding behind people in pictures due to my discomfort with myself
- I am tired (plain and simple)
- My pants feel tight, even my BIG sizes. After a day of wearing them... they burn my stomach
- I get winded doing simple tasks
- My wedding band doesn't fit me
- I want to shop at any clothing store I want
- I want to be able to comfortably cross my legs
- I want to go out with my husband/family/friends and feel confident
- I don't want to use my jacket/bag as a stomach cover-up
- I'm tired of watching DietTribe and other weightloss shows and thinking, "WHY NOT ME!?" (it's not me because I've never LET it be me)
- I will love myself better, thus improving all of the relationships in my life
- All of my really cute clothes don't fit
- Not only do I want to be able to shop anywhere, I want to be able to wear anything I want
- I've never worn a bathing suit without a t-shirt and/or shorts
I plan on posting some of these reasons around places that I often find myself - my car, my computer, the refrigerator, the pantry, etc. I need a constant reminder that I cannot give up or give in. I need to stay strong. I've done it before, I can do it again.... I don't have a choice anymore.
- I feel uncomfortable in all the clothes I wear - no exceptions
- I am tired of hiding behind people in pictures due to my discomfort with myself
- I am tired (plain and simple)
- My pants feel tight, even my BIG sizes. After a day of wearing them... they burn my stomach
- I get winded doing simple tasks
- My wedding band doesn't fit me
- I want to shop at any clothing store I want
- I want to be able to comfortably cross my legs
- I want to go out with my husband/family/friends and feel confident
- I don't want to use my jacket/bag as a stomach cover-up
- I'm tired of watching DietTribe and other weightloss shows and thinking, "WHY NOT ME!?" (it's not me because I've never LET it be me)
- I will love myself better, thus improving all of the relationships in my life
- All of my really cute clothes don't fit
- Not only do I want to be able to shop anywhere, I want to be able to wear anything I want
- I've never worn a bathing suit without a t-shirt and/or shorts
I plan on posting some of these reasons around places that I often find myself - my car, my computer, the refrigerator, the pantry, etc. I need a constant reminder that I cannot give up or give in. I need to stay strong. I've done it before, I can do it again.... I don't have a choice anymore.
Getting started
Today will be a stepping stone for me. I am going to LAFitness with my friend to see what membership will cost. This is a big deal for me. I've only been a member at a gym twice. The first time was for years through a family membership with my parents at the YMCA. I rarely utlitized it in the four+ years that I had that membership. There was only that time of depression that I went through that I was there consistantly four-five times a week for many weeks.
The other gym was several months prior to getting married. I paid 100 bucks for six months, and only went about 2 dozen times (if that). Looking back, several contributing factors to that:
a) I was going with a friend, and if something came up that my friend didn't want to go or couldn't go, I didn't go.
b) No parking. I could drive around for a while before finding a spot... and it could be a good distance from the gym.
c) Not conveniently located. It is somewhat near my job... but not really. I had to go out of my way to get there. It wasn't near my house.
This is why I think LAFitness will be good for me. I'm starting off with the mindset that I am going to do this alone. If my friend can come with me - that's fantastic and I'm so excited to work out with her. However, if she can't, I will not let that be the deciding factor to whether I go or not. Also, there is ample parking (from what I am aware of... I'll find out tonight). I may not get super close to the gym... but I won't have to pay for parking or go around for fifteen minutes trying to find a spot.. AND the walking WILL be good for me :)
Not only that, but it is convenient. It's not too far from my house (five minute drive), if I have to go food shopping, I can go to the gym first and then hit up the supermarket. Or when I'm done... when my clothes get big, I can go shopping at NY&Co. (and maybe even the Gap one day if I ever fit into their clothes properly!)
I'm really looking forward to tonight. I want to do cardio and lift weights and sweat and swim. I just need to keep this mindset!!!
So for Thursday - I will weigh in (probably on my Wii since I don't have an actual scale in this house). I will post my weight, my interim goal, my long-term goal, plans, etc.
Again, I appreciate the support. Feel free to get on my case if I'm not posting or sharing good news. That's what you are here for - to make sure I stay on track!
See you THURSDAY!!
The other gym was several months prior to getting married. I paid 100 bucks for six months, and only went about 2 dozen times (if that). Looking back, several contributing factors to that:
a) I was going with a friend, and if something came up that my friend didn't want to go or couldn't go, I didn't go.
b) No parking. I could drive around for a while before finding a spot... and it could be a good distance from the gym.
c) Not conveniently located. It is somewhat near my job... but not really. I had to go out of my way to get there. It wasn't near my house.
This is why I think LAFitness will be good for me. I'm starting off with the mindset that I am going to do this alone. If my friend can come with me - that's fantastic and I'm so excited to work out with her. However, if she can't, I will not let that be the deciding factor to whether I go or not. Also, there is ample parking (from what I am aware of... I'll find out tonight). I may not get super close to the gym... but I won't have to pay for parking or go around for fifteen minutes trying to find a spot.. AND the walking WILL be good for me :)
Not only that, but it is convenient. It's not too far from my house (five minute drive), if I have to go food shopping, I can go to the gym first and then hit up the supermarket. Or when I'm done... when my clothes get big, I can go shopping at NY&Co. (and maybe even the Gap one day if I ever fit into their clothes properly!)
I'm really looking forward to tonight. I want to do cardio and lift weights and sweat and swim. I just need to keep this mindset!!!
So for Thursday - I will weigh in (probably on my Wii since I don't have an actual scale in this house). I will post my weight, my interim goal, my long-term goal, plans, etc.
Again, I appreciate the support. Feel free to get on my case if I'm not posting or sharing good news. That's what you are here for - to make sure I stay on track!
See you THURSDAY!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Beginning with my FB note
This Friday I intend to begin to change my life. I have always struggled with my weight.
For almost my entire life I have been overweight. Never severly obese, to the point that I can't do things for myself, but overweight enough that I have been depressed, angry at the world/myself, self conscience, and socially unacceptable. This struggle has prevented me from making friends, maintaining successful relationships (outside of my marriage/family), attending social events, and feeling good about myself.
The one time that I felt good about myself was due to a depression that caused me to lose a large amount of weight in a very short time. Although this was not the way to go, it proved to me that I DO have the potential to feel beautiful and be fit.
I know exactly WHY I have gained weight:
- I overeat
- I am lazy and do no physical activity
- I lack dedication
After having Joshua, I felt incredible. I was immediately 30 lbs lighter than what I was before getting pregnant. It did not take long for me to pack that weight back on. I went from feeling amazing - able to sit down with people without a bag/jacket over my lap, to feeling gross, insecure, and sad.
I do not like how I am. I do not feel beautiful, pretty, attractive, or anything positive. Every morning I get dressed and think, "I look terrible!" I gave up putting on makeup or doing my hair nice because I figure, "What's the point??"
So why am I writing this and tagging you in this? Because, as my introductory line said, this Friday I am going to begin changing my life. I will be joining a gym and starting to eat healthier. The reason for Friday is because that is when I will be able to afford the gym membership. This week will be spent researching recipes for foods that I can make simply/quickly that are healthy.
In order for me to be successful, I feel that I need to make this public. I need to have support, outside of just my husband/immediate family. I need to know that people are keeping track of me. If I have people keeping me accountable, I will be encouraged to keep with this. I know I want this badly. I know that my desire for this is immense. I also know that I am not the type of person that can do this alone. I tagged YOU because I knew that you were someone that I could trust.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm looking forward to being a healthier, happier me.
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